Light and Dark

Life is a balance of light and dark:

When things are dark, they are not always dark, there is always still light.

When things are light, they are never 100% perfect, there is always some darkness.

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Today’s Darkness:

  • Serafina was a handful. She was on the go all day long and into everything. She mostly ate fruit and Christmas candy (which didn’t help). When we tried to bake Christmas cookies, she was into everything! It was super frustrating and a real lesson in patience.
  • I am still feeling sick. Went for a walk, but made myself a little more run down and tired.
  • We are totally broke until pay day, 9 more days!! Will have to be creative with meals.
  • Autumn and Kesa had a mini spat. They are doing that pretty regularly now.
  • I had a moment of grumpiness, but turned out I just needed some carrot muffins. 🙂
  • We haven’t been following our advent every day and according to plan, but we are still getting a lot done in life, so I am not going to dwell on it.
  • The kitchen (and whole house) look like a bomb went off, even though I cleaned all day long. My cousin and I joke that we swear to our husbands that we clean up all day, even though it looks like we only sat around and did nothing at all.
  • It was cold with the wind, so we all couldn’t get outside.
  • Craig is working 12-hour shifts all week long (I am like a single mom a lot of the time, but it makes me stronger).
  • Didn’t get a bath.

Today’s Light:

  • Got some schooling and corrections done with Autumn today.
  • Got a nice email from my husband on our 8 year dating anniversary (today).
  • Went out for a little walk with Kesa and climbed some snow hills, the sun was shining and she was happy to get alone with me.
  • We made some yummy cookies and will decorate them when we have time.
  • Got a 20 minute rest away from the girls. Came back happier.
  • Had my helpers with me to clean up. I am so grateful that they love to help out and are always so optimistic.
  • Made a roast (which was a totally new experience) it was very good and we enjoyed it and were grateful. Had roasted potatoes, carrots, broccoli and green beans with it. Meals like this remind me of my mom’s home cooking. 🙂
  • Learned a little more that I need to stop judging myself so harshly and have more love and compassion for myself.
  • Found time to check emails and respond to comments on blog. Wrote a few posts, which makes me feel happy.
  • Talked on the phone to mom and to a dear friend. It is great to talk to other women to not feel so alone.
  • Got half a massage from Craig before Serafina took off her poopy diaper and he had to get going to work.
  • Started watching the movie Frozen with the girls.
  • The girls each decorated a door like a snowman for advent.
  • Had strawberry frozen yogurt and carrot muffins for dessert.
  • Finally tackled the laundry mountain pile! (I do so hate laundry.)
  • Felt grateful and mostly positive all day long. Am enjoy having an appetite again now that I am allowing more different foods in my life. I have always loved to eat! Foods have so many memories to me. I am enjoying freedom in eating and sharing meals and am grateful that Craig actually wants to eat meat too.

Reflections:

Grateful for today and every day. God continues to strengthen us and provide all of our needs, as well as heal my heart and my past. We are truly blessed and I am grateful. I wish that I could remember the good all the time, but I know that sometimes we need to forget and that there needs to be moments of darkness so that we can recognize the light. I am grateful that even though we have to do things a little bit at a time (because Serafina is such a handful, even for 4 pairs of hands) with many interruptions, we still get things done. It makes things more relaxed in a way and totally helps me to let of perfectionism. It also makes us all more appreciative of everything in life. Still feel like I need to slow down more, although I know that I am getting better daily at facing my fears and relaxing and accepting the flow of life more and more each day.

Prayers:

Thank you God and angels for all that we have, all that you are doing, and all of the friends and family you have placed into my life. Thank you for uplifting and encouraging supports. Thank you that the storms in life are never too great or too long and that the sun always shines brighter once they come to an end. Thank you for peace and growth. Thank you for love and wisdom. Thank you for intuition and inspiration. Thank you for the gifts that you give to each and every one of us in the world, help us to use them to inspire and encourage others. Lead us not into temptation, doubt, fear, worry, discouragement, judgement and hopelessness, but strengthen us and help us to grow ever more in love, faith, hope, optimism, peace, acceptance, positivity, and encouragement. Help us to keep our eyes, minds and hearts open always. May we always see your work and your goodness in our lives.

I write things like this every day (or as often as I can anyway) in my journal. Tonight I felt inspired to brave up and share this publicly on my blog, even though it was a bit scary. I hope that in facing my fear, I inspire someone tonight to also take time to reflect like this.

There is always darkness, but there is also always light. Nothing is ever completely black and white. Life is a balance of light and dark and we really do need both.

Much Love!

tiffany6

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2 thoughts on “Light and Dark

  1. I think you are so right that we need a little bit of both light and dark, because without the dark we wouldn’t know the light, right?

    Love your lists. Each night I write an email to a friend in the UK with a list of my gratitude for the day, and she sends me hers. We are both often amazed at the end of a hard day, that didn’t seem to offer much in the way of light, how much we really do have to be grateful for, and how much light was really in our day. We have been doing this for almost two years, and although we didn’t know each other when we started, we are know very good friends. It is amazing how better I feel about my days and this path I walk after I have emailed her.

    Sending you love and light my friend, through the good days and the not so good days. Hang in there, and I do hope you are feeling better soon. xo

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