Serafina teaches us all so much. She is quite a busy girl these days, at the age of three years now, into everything and so into the world. That is why I don’t like to use the term “autistic” for her, or for any of the children diagnosed with “autism spectrum disorder.”
I believe that these children were given to the earth for a reason and that they are here to teach us to really wake up to the spiritual reality that exists all around us. I believe that the environment these children are raised in and the attitude, thoughts and actions that the parents or caregivers provide for these children has an immense affect on how these “autistic” children behave.
Most people assume that “autistic” children are withdrawn, angry, antisocial, disinterested in reality and “live a life off in their own world.” While it is true for many children with “autism,” I believe it has a lot to do with how we treat them and how we think and feel towards them.
Serafina is an extremely happy girl! So happy, in fact, I would say that she is more so than any other person I have ever met. She takes delight in the world and everything around her. She is busy all the time exploring, tasting, looking, sensing, feeling, moving. She is constantly sensing energy, and when that energy is pure and the vibrations of her surroundings (and those of the people around her) are positive and uplifting, she shows us that by the way she delights in her environment and the people around her. She beams brilliant smiles and laughs heartily. She vibes high and her overflowing joy is absolutely contagious.
There are times however, when the place we are in, the people she is around or the sounds, smells, sights and feelings she encounters are unpleasant and contain low vibrations. It is in these times when I notice that she acts more agitated, easily frustrated and more isolated and distant from others. I notice this is regards to her diet as well and whether she is thriving mostly on the raw fruits, juices and vegetables that she loves, or if she is eating more animal foods, or foods that contain little to no life force energy.
Before I knew why Serafina was “different” than my other children, or was diagnosed with “autism,” my feelings toward her were more distant, my thoughts were muddled in confusion, anxiety, guilt and fear over why she wasn’t seeming to be developing “normally,” and my energy and vibration was not as high as it is now that I have understood her more and allowed myself to understand and read her spiritually as well.
At that time, she was two years old and she was extremely frustrated and way more withdrawn than she is now. She hardly made any eye-contact, she didn’t want to be around me or be hugged or touched, she was easily frustrated and agitated by everything, she did seem to me very withdrawn from her sisters, and she cried a lot! It was an extremely trying 8-12 months for us and now that I look back, I see that it must have also been extremely trying for her as well.
It was around 2 years old (and even a little bit before this), that we really noticed that she was regressing. I, as well as many of our relatives had noticed it right away and had been concerned about her, but since my husband didn’t seem to see anything “wrong” with her, I trusted in him that she was going to be just fine and eventually learn to speak more words and sentences. He had such faith and I had such confidence in his faith that we waited it out to see how things would go.
Serafina used to have words and she used to like to sing and hum. Looking back now, I do see though that she had only few words and that many of the songs lyrics that she sung were not clearly comprehensible. I had assumed that this was just her baby talk and thought nothing of it. In all areas of her life she was otherwise developing fairly “normally,” the only thing that she lacked in was speech.
This lack of vital communication led her (and the rest of us) to become extremely frustrated. It was around 18 months that she began to take off her diapers in her crib and in her bed and spread her stool. I would wake up to her crying and covered in her stool and have a ton of laundry to do before I even had a chance to open my eyes and have breakfast. If I would try and put her down for naps, the same thing would happen. This went on until she was around two and a half years old, even closer to three. She just didn’t like having a dirty diaper and she also didn’t like wearing clothes. She would constantly want to be naked and as she was not potty trained, this made for quite an aggravation for us.
At first, I thought that she was just acting up as a normal toddler might: not wanting to keep a diaper or clothes on as a form of rebellion. Now I understand that it was because she had no words and she was frustrated because of this lack of communication and the fact that no one around her could understand her. She must have felt so confused over the fact that she had lost her speech as well. Knowing now also that she is a highly sensitive, intuitive being, I see that she is sensitive to the feeling of clothes on her body, as they restrict her means of sensing the energy that is around her.
It is only recently that she has been keeping her clothes on more often. For many months we had to pin her clothes to try and keep her from constantly taking them off. One thing she likes to wear are sleepers and so that is what she pretty much lives in. Despite what people might think about her not dressing “normally,” it keeps her happy and comfortable and so that is what she wears.
She is also particular about what she likes to eat. She eats when she is hungry and stops when she has had enough. She eats what she feels like on a given day and most of her diet is very high-vibrational, raw vegan. There is no point in trying to force her to sit and eat (as I used to stress over majorly and assumed was very “abnormal”). Rather, she will come and eat at the table if the people there are calm, the energy is peaceful, the food high-vibrational and she feels hungry. Makes so much sense right?
Her favorite thing in the world is organic fruit juice and fresh or frozen fruit. She could just eat fruit all day. She also loves cucumbers and peppers (which are also technically fruits as well). She enjoys plain tastes, like plain puffed wheat, corn or rice cereal and plain grains like cooked brown rice or quinoa. She enjoys toasted or untoasted organic sprouted grain bread and loves butter or margarine. She would eat margarine from the tub if she could (and has many times been caught doing so). Her body knows what it needs, when it needs it and she follows her natural intuition (as we all should), as to what and when to eat. She also enjoys melted organic cheese on organic corn chips. She doesn’t eat much in the way of fats, but when her body craves it, she indulges.
She sometimes eats potatoes or even scrambled eggs, but doesn’t like mixed foods, like casseroles or dishes containing many different ingredients or spices. None of us eat meat or go out of the way to buy it.The closer to nature her food is, the better in her opinion (and mine as well). I had always felt gravitated toward eating this way (naturally and organically), and watching and learning from this highly sensitive and intuitive daughter of mine, I feel assured that our diet choice is what is best for us in terms of wanting to live at a higher vibration and to develop spiritually, living in peace and harmony together.
Nowadays, our struggles continue with her stubbornness (that she must get from her father) and defiance (which maybe comes from me), in that she is very particular about certain things. She is extremely particular about what she wears: that is, what the sleepers look like or what designs her pull-ups have on them. She wants a certain pattern on her sleeper that and nothing else will do. She wants a particular blanket and no other. She has to have all the doors in the house shut (a major energy thing). The toilet lid must be put down at all times. The juice or other item has to be put back exactly where it was taken from. Zippers have to be pulled all the way up on jackets and sweaters and pockets. Her bed has to have a certain group of stuffies and books and no others are allowed. The latest thing is that winter boots have to be put nicely in a row.
I love learning from Serafina everyday. She, as well as other children diagnosed with “autism spectrum disorder” may not be “normal,” but they are highly intelligent, sensitive, light workers, who can vibe at such high frequencies and be such delightful, happy, spirited and gifted individuals, if we see them through the eyes of love; as a blessing and not a burden and give them a chance to just be who they are. If we can let go of all that we have been brain washed into believing is “normal,” or “right,” and that there simply is no such thing. Every human being is an individual, an incarnated, “I”-being, and a part of the divine essence of God, not meant to model each other, or fit any standard, but to be free and to be our own unique selves in this world, imparting only the gifts that we as individuals can share with each other.
Sometimes, even now, my mind wants to feel sorry for her being different and for life being more challenging because of the way she acts. Sometimes my mind goes off in a flurry of worries over what the future may hold for us as her parents and as her family; but really, in my heart I know that I am blessed and that she has chosen us, God has chosen this for our lifetime together. I rejoice in the little trials that we daily overcome – the most latest one being that she FINALLY loves her mitts and keeps them on the whole time she is outside and that she hasn’t taken off her sleeper or pull-up in a few weeks, nor had any bedtime battles with us!
Daily I learn lessons from Serafina as to how to undo the fears and false beliefs in my consciousness; to relax into spirit and to let go of “normal,” to be a more free individual and to focus on love and gratitude to the utmost. I desire to love life as much as she does and to choose to vibe high and share my unique individuality without fear or reservation. I look up to this small-bodied, yet big-spirited being with such a bright and beautiful spirit daily, and I thank God for sending her into our lives to be our greatest teacher.