Today you cried. A lot! I know that life is so hard for you, since you have no words. You try to tell us, but it is hard for us to understand. You have your gestures, but when there are no words, you can only cry to convey the feelings of your heart and soul to us.
I love you. It is hard for me too. I feel your sadness and so do your sisters and your daddy. We all love you. We all feel what you feel and we all try our best to help you in any way we can.
I thank you for today. Even though it was a hard one, we made it through it! You didn’t want me too close to you at bedtime routine tonight and that is OK. You remind me how important it is to be sincere and composed in my thoughts and feelings because you are so sensitive to and aware of the energy all around you. It must be hard for you to be so sensitive! I think that I am a sensitive person, but you are so amazing! You amaze me with all that you do and all that you are!
Tonight we slow danced to our song, Don’t Mess With Karma by Brett Dennen. It reminded me once again of the only thing that truly matters, the love that we give and receive. I was sad that the homeschool day I prepared for in the morning did not go as planned. I was unhappy with the state of our home and that I was unable to keep up with it today. It makes me frazzled when it gets like that. I had plans to sit and write a blog post. My mind was on a million negative things at times today and your crying forced me to slow down. To take you in my arms and spin you around in circles, the one thing you love best in the entire world (next to juice and being outside). You smiled your beaming smile as you pulled at your ears and closed your eyes. You felt the peace and the bliss of the moment when my mind calmed down and we felt peace together.
I can’t do everything. I know that. I do. I can’t always hold everything together perfectly. Today reminded me once again of that. I can’t be perfect and cannot always keep my mind 100% positive, but you always catch me and teach me to slow down and to let go of living up to the ideals and norms that I put so much importance on sometimes. The world has its way of scaring people that way. Making us feel that we have to do things a certain way or be a certain way. Our minds are conditioned of it at a very young age and it is hard for me to forget it sometimes, although I try my best. You lead me to just take you in my arms and stare into your deep, wise eyes and still my thoughts. You are so knowledgeable and special! You teach me to slow down and to live in the moment, live my life. Like the song by Jason Mraz that you love so much and would listen to at bedtime every night when you were a baby. You used to sing your own little words to it then and your melody was always perfect. Even though you don’t sing anymore, you still love music and dancing.
Your message to me today — and for me to share with the world — is to slow down. Be still. This does not mean a stillness in our actions so much as in our minds. Be conscious of your thoughts and when your mind wants to go “there” or worse, dwell “there.” STOP! Slow down. Take a look around. Do a kind action for someone else, get your mind off of yourself and get your mind back onto what truly matters most of all and is the only thing that we came here for. That simple, yet profound four-letter word, LOVE.
Thank you for coming into my life and into our world! And thank you for giving me a more meaningful post than I had planned.