I have always been a sensitive person. Emotionally, physically (I bruise very easily) and spiritually of course. In the fall of 2009, upon really waking up and beginning my spiritual study seriously, I decided to become a vegan. I am also very determined and strong-willed, so for me it was an overnight decision after doing a bit of research and watching a few disturbing videos about the source of my omnivorous foods. I learned about factory farming and GMO crops and the many physical, mental, emotional, environmental, compassionate and spiritual health benefits of a vegan diet and I was instantly converted to veganism. A few months later my husband was on board too and our whole family switched to a vegan diet. I have dabbled through various stages of veganism, including raw food, frutarian and eating vegan processed “junk foods” too. Still, I have always maintained a fairly healthy balance throughout the years and was glowing with health and vitality and spiritual insight.
I love the way I feel when eating an organic, highly raw, vegan diet. Lighter, more open-minded and spiritually attuned, and also balanced, healthy and happy in my physical body as well. I started my blog Live.Learn.Love.Eat. as a way to share my love for a vegan diet with the world and as a place of positivity, gratitude, and joy with glimpses into our family’s everyday life. I created many vegan recipes in my kitchen throughout the years which I shared on my site and spent the years 2011 and 2012, writing a vegan family cookbook using natural, wholesome ingredients, while keeping fun and flavor alive. In early 2013, I self-published my cookbook, which did very well and I felt rather pleased with. This was my life’s purpose for those many years. I felt that this gift of mine for recipes and love of veganism had to be shared.
This past spring, I found myself lost spiritually for a few months and found myself in a depression and not feeling motivated to do much of anything, especially cooking. I had been listening to the ego voice in my mind for a few months, doubting myself, my blog, my identity and my decision to be vegan and live my simple, organic life, even though I had lived healthily and happily for years that way. I felt a bit hopeless about the world and about the state of our food and the factory farming and GMO crops. I felt like maybe we were crazy. I felt that maybe changing the way that we ate would make us more “normal” and able to “fit in,”even less isolated.
After listening to these thoughts for a while, I started buying less organic foods, less vegan food and more packaged stuff. We even started buying and eating meat, but only a very little bit. I stuck to a mostly vegan diet, with the inclusion of some meat, a little bit of butter and cheese (no milk though) and noticed myself getting more anxious, fearful and depressed. I was suppressing my inner voice and intuition, which has always led me to see that vegan is the way for me. I knew that food is not just physical nourishment, but spiritual as well and that the food I was consuming was lowering my already low energy, but I was stuck in a dark place spiritually confused, feeling guilty as a mother (as I was dealing with Serafina’s developmental delays and people’s concern over her) and overwhelmed with balancing my role as a mother, homeschooler, wife, blog author, vegan guru, spiritual seeker, and individual woman.
Changing my diet did not make me feel more connected to others. It did not solve my problems of feeling different. I still felt those feelings and I knew that the reasons were deeper than food or surface analysis. I believe that everything has a spiritual significance and underlying tone of spirituality in life and my period of confusion over my identity during that time in my life led me to a deeper understanding of myself as a spiritual being and the power of thoughts and the reality of the energy that exists in all things.
It was once again easy to cut the little bit of animal foods that I had taken in over a short period of a few months from my diet in the spring. I stopped eating meat and dairy (I never did eat eggs) and I resumed what was best for myself. Organic, high raw, vegan food is what I thrive on. But this whole dark period, was not so dark, as I have learned a lot from it and I do not beat myself up for what I had felt was “failing”, or “falling off the path.” I learned for sure that meat and dairy do carry lower vibrations and that is what some people in society, working laborious jobs or surrounded by others energies may need to keep themselves grounded and sustained. But for a person like me, who is more interested in yoga, meditation, spiritual study, expansion in consciousness and living simply, who do not have jobs that tether them to the world as much, do not need the astral forces that these foods supply. I have learned not to judge those who do not choose to tread this path as “wrong” or “bad” or “unspiritual” because I do believe that at this time those foods do serve a purpose in preventing people from becoming too spiritually aware, open and light, when they are not ready for it. I also believe that there will come a time when our systems of factory farming and GMO farming will fail us and we will find more and more people having to evolve to a more plant-based, back-to-the-earth, local way of eating because the way our food system is operating is simply not sustainable.
So here we are today, back to our vegan and sometimes vegetarian diet. I myself choose an organic, highly-raw vegan route and my family is highly vegan with the acception of some eggs we occasionally get (or get for free) from a family members farm and organic butter or snacks that contain organic dairy. We don’t buy cow milk, but use organic soy or almond milk and we eat very simply as we have always done.
I feel good cooking most of our food from scratch again and knowing what we are consuming, but have relaxed to the point where I choose not to label myself or make myself feel as though I have to live up to an image or ideal that others follow. I do not want to allow food to isolate our family or put me in a box. I want my girls to have a healthy relationship with food and I believe the best way to accomplish that is to model healthy eating choices and exercise myself. We love to shop together and buy organic foods! The girls get excited about all things natural and organic and that makes me happy. I feel so good leaving the store with the vegan and organic things, conscious of where my food comes from and that I am not feeding my family cruelty, death and poison. Yet I am also conscious of how we do interact at family gatherings or social situations and assure them that it is okay to share in foods that are offered, still always encouraging the healthiest options. There are times when we can’t get everything organic, but I do try my best to do so, without feeling bad when the option simply isn’t there.
We also are back to buying natural and organic toothpaste, shampoo, dish soap, laundry soap and soap bars. So I feel peace of mind and a weight lifted off of my consciousness these days. I feel back on track and more myself than ever. There is just something about living as close to natural as we can. I still feel sad that we are so far removed from our earth mother, but I do the best that I can to make conscious choices, while not alienating myself or my family from the world that we live in or holding to standards of perfectionism.
Food should not become an idol. Fear of food (or of anything) and a lack of gratitude for what we do have also creates a low vibration. Our thoughts toward what we are blessed to have are also powerful and should be something that we are constantly aware of. We must maintain a balance of keeping a positive attitude and of our desire to make healthy, conscious choices, without allowing our ego to interfere with fear (as it constantly tries to do with all things in our lives).
Today I wanted to share the joy that this way of living has brought me and my family and some of the things that we have been enjoying. 🙂
I like to eat small portions at a time because I like to stay so active and don’t like to feel like I am full after eating. I eat frequent, small meals throughout my day to keep me going and to give me the energy I need to do what I want to do in life. I used to suffer from stomach ulcers and have healed them with the way that I detoxed my body last winter eating very bland or mildly flavored vegan foods, drinking lots of water and doing a lot of ashtanga yoga.
I love my organic greens! I eat a lot of greens everyday, which makes me feel happy and healthy. They are so live and full of nutrition. Such a high life force food.
This is some lettuce from our garden, which is just amazing.
I have really been enjoying Silver Hills Bakery organic sprouted grain bread toasted with peanut butter, cinnamon and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice or cardamom with mashed banana or sliced apple on it! This is my breakfast or snack during the day. It tastes so great! Just like a cinnamon bun and so simple to make. It is also extremely healthy (no refined sugar) and just oh, so good!
I like to make open faced sandwiches with organic margarine or butter. First, I toast the bread, spread on the butter and sprinkle on garlic powder, basil and oregano. Top that with the greens, sprouts and some sliced tomatoes and/or cucumbers and eat with organic carrots or peppers on the side. Such a high-vibrating meal. The bread tastes just like garlic bread with the garlic powder and the spices, but is much healthier of course, done on an organic sprouted grain bread.
Toasted open-faced zucchini sandwiches are great too! I cut semi-thick wedges of zucchini, fry them in a pan with basil and oregano and then place them on toasted bread with butter or margarine and garlic powder. Top that with some tomato or lettuce and eat with greens, raw veggies or corn on the cob. Yum!
Fall and winter is when we eat more soup and cooked food. All of us like soup, so it is a great meal! Healthy, cheap, delicious and satisfying. A pot of soup also lasts for about 4-5 days around here too and so I like not having to cook everyday. We love my recipe for Tomato Cabbage Vegetable soup the best. This time I made it with fresh dill from our garden. We also have been making homemade Whole Wheat Sandwich Bread to go with it. So delicious!!!
I will always and forever love tea! I want to get organic tea, but for now we have all of these different kinds of herbal tea.
Some other things we buy…
And our meal blessing.
Earth who gives to us this food
Sun who makes it ripe and good
Dear earth, dear Sun, By you we live
Our Loving thanks to you we give.
Blessings on our food,
On our family,
On our world,
And on our day.
What are you enjoying these days? Do you have any healthy, easy, or raw vegan or vegetarian meals that you love to make?
I would love to hear from you!